The answer is just as strange as the question, but since it’s a staple meme on Reddit it comes as a surprise to no one. Buzzfeed released another chapter from their upcoming campaign e-book, “Panic 2012: The Sublime and Terrifying Inside Story of Obama’s Final Campaign.” The chapter is dedicated to the day that Obama took to Reddit on his own AMA, or Ask Me Anything. The president showed the importance of “being yourself” on social media, but only days later did his digital campaign team notice one forgotten question: would he fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?
“In the days following, staffers debated the answer. Most immediately chose the 100 duck-sized horses— they would be easy to stomp on and were, generally, a reflection of the usual day-to-day conflicts in life. A danger to the shins, but possibly manageable. “Ducks are not exactly teeny-tiny—so 100 duck-sized horses (as opposed to duckling-sized horses), while smaller than a miniature pony, are still probably clocking in somewhere around ten pounds each,” one Obama official argued. “That’s a lot to kick/throw/battle.”
Who would choose to fight a duck the size of a horse? The beak. The wingspan. The ability to defend and attack in the air, on land, and in the water. “Also, lacking a weapon of some kind, how exactly do you defeat it? Wrestling it to the ground seems unlikely. Can you break its legs? Snap a wing?” the official continued. “Yet, it’s just one opponent—you can focus all your energy, attention, and strength on outsmarting it. Maybe it tires easily. Hard to know.”
No, maybe the question was rigged—could anyone truly choose a monster duck over a swarm of miniature horses? Maybe there was one man in America who would have chosen the king-sized waterfowl.”
Short answer: we may never know since it wasn’t brought up to Obama. The Atlantic goes deeper into the actual question of killing one of these hypothetical animals. (Really? Bio-weapons?) There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to hand-to-hand combat with an idea. If there were, the president would’ve clearly powerbombed the horse-sized duck and made all of congress watch. It’s a fantasy that is more comforting than the reality of legislation in dealing with these monsters. Plus, there’s roughly an 80 percent chance Biden would choose the hundred duck-sized horses just to run around the naval observatory.
Image via Buzzfeed