Woe unto the man who wields his mustache for personal gain, or at least that’s the thought coming from Alexandra Petri at  WaPo’s ComPost. Taking a second shot at David Axelrod‘s carefree attitude when it comes to putting his ‘stache up for collateral when it comes to bets. Only this time it’s more against the CURE’s new Slash the ‘Stache fundraiser.

This shall not pass! Does he dislike epilepsy research? First, he pits Mustache Preservation against Civic Duty; now, Mustache Preservation must go head-to-head with Supporting Good Causes? Has he no shame? After his loyal mustache fought its way out of the electoral gladiatorial arena, staggering but victorious, he demands that it turn again and battle for its life? At least allow the thing to rest.

Mustaches should not be so lightly bandied about. A mustache is a terrible thing to waste, and it is this cavalier attitude that has made them retreat in terror to their traditional haunts on the upper lips of hipsters and ’70s porn stars.

Tough words! In fact, the toughness is something that every reaction across the Internet seems to have when it comes to a ‘stache-less Joe Scarborough. While sites clamored to come up with the best puns in their headers (Politico: “Scarborough’s close shave”) others felt more of ak “J’accuse” was in order (NY Mag and WaPo: “Joe Scarborough Buys His Way Out of Mustache Bet”).

But even a joke can be helpful, as The Hill chronicled a rare online interaction between Axelrod and Donald Trump that ended with The Donald promising some funds–no confirmed amount–to bring a trimmer ever closer to ending the gloriously preserved mustache. Even without the construction magnate, donations are still coming in to Slash the ‘Stache, which you can donate to here even if you’re concerned about the recklessly endangered facial hair.